Did I tell you? Do you know?

I gasp as I have my mouth covered. Covered from my parents hearing me-as I hold my gasp in the palm of my hands, I suck in for air to be met with salty, wet palmed skin meeting my mouth. Dad has gotten me beer as my spinal shots, morphine lacking relief has failed. A last ditched begged effort for pity & relief. Did they hear me? Did I stifle enough? I try so hard as beer is as expensive as medicine that has yet to find me a hiding place.

 

He has bought me full-on Budweiser. The Czech original, corrupted by greedy Americans. I listen to William Fitzsimmons, & the loved Julia Stone on his gorgeous album. On my iPad, I can see it as orbiting planets & moons as far from the original album as I am with relief on the app 'planetery'. I watch as my songs orbit moons. Did I ever tell you how I love space? Did I ever tell you the 'Budvar/Busweiser' story? How many key things did I forget to tell you, as I thought we had all the time in the world? Will you hear this song & know why it makes me cry? I hope I did, or that you find it in my SOS emails. You're so smart-& knew me so well...but did I know it all myself at the time? Will you figure it out? As you travel our world, will you figure it out from my missing pieces?

 

I hope you think of me as I was, as the current has too many tears to stifle. So many tears yet to find.

 

 

Czech pub crawl days

 As my parents are getting us somewhat started in the moving process, every single day seems like there are new things of mine in the garage to discuss of 'can we give this away?' or boxes to sort through. Day before last one box held some very dear treasures. It was in a box of what seemed to be my lingerie drawer, & as I don't really have a need for much of that these days it had been in a box in the garage. When asked why two shirts & some others dear things were in said drawer, I smiled & answered that they were so special they deserved to be kept with lovely things. One was a beer shirt from a Czech company I worked for, & the other was my dear friend Henry's birthday pub crawl t-shirt. I cried when I read & saw all the things on it-a Scottish flag drawn by Stevie, Zoe the cat on one sleeve, Rob's 'Marnie is cool' heart drawing, my 'pivo/piva/piv'...the three forms of the p,urals of beer depending on how many you were ordering, with a little beer mug next to it. I miss those days so much, & the friends I still have now, even ten years on. 

 

 

 

Hearts, 3 bows, kitty cat, & tootsie rolls

After a really tough pain night & morning, mom had dad bring home a few gifts for me...I got downstairs & there were bow topped yummy things! A ziploc full of pretzels (I've been addicted lately), a giant bag of the delicious tootsie rolls I love, the new red velvet cake ice cream, & even some light beer for me to drink as part of my indoor 4th of July, since they will be gone that weekend.





After I started getting sick years ago, I would notice heart shaped things, & I've never been one to love that shape. When I took out the cord for my computer, I later noticed this...



Macy-the parents cat was even so excited to see me...so today was pretty great, especially after the 12 hours previous. Thanks mom & dad! Xxx



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Location:Bed, stomach!