Friday, October 19, 2012

Windy days out

Today was a good day. After listening to the wind all night, I went to the door & it was so gorgeous that I went & sat on the porch for about an hour. Mom & dad were out so I shared the porch with their cat Macy. She lets me hold her upside down like a baby, & we sat & watched the trees shake through the sky. Our neighborhood has really beautiful trees-& with the 20 mph winds the sound of the different leaves moving is hypnotic. In the backyard there's an archway with a bench & I discovered a nest which thrilled me. The arch leans like the St. Louis arch too heavy on the left side. Underneath there are big stones with butterflies, bumble bees, & dragonflies in slate blue-grey. Just being out & taking pictures was so therapeutic.

I love the textures of the branch on the right side.

The nest from the outside...

& inside.

A butterfly stone.

The leaning arch...

& the pretty wrapped, climbing vines

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Finality in Lights

I love having my new, own place. Chai bunny has loved exploring & ripping pieces off the maze of cardboard boxes, climbing up my 7 pillow stacks, searching for the previously hidden tootsie roll bag with her massive hound dog nose, & taking her stuffed friends all over to show them their new home. We put up a string of lights as a banner on my bed, adding some whimsy & light to my otherwise kept vampire-like dark I keep for my insane fibro-sensitive eyes. Otherwise I've felt I have had nothing to say, nothing to feel, just nothing. My doctor is good, although his wanting to skip a month in visits & not really planning anything new in the way of treatments is a bit worrying. I guess I feel that like an elderly person going into a home I've gotten to the place in a figurative sense I've come to die. That's ok, but just so final. One of the main reasons we moved is to be closer to family, for my parents know after they are gone I'll need help just existing...though I worry & feel badly for whoever gets saddled with the burden of me as a professional sick person. I hate feeling or thinking like this, but it comes to me when I'm sleeping through stress dreams & is on my mind when I wake up. Hopefully Chai bunny will continue to jump on my bed & wake me up with her fuzzy face & big eyes watching me as I open my eyes.



Thursday, October 4, 2012

Making the bed

I've been really sick lately. My body seems to have forgotten what proper seasons feel like, & for over a week my sinus/allergies/cold has switched into high gear. Crazy how my body forgets how to fight & adjust to something I lived with over half of my life...after living 5+ years without seasons, my compromised body doesn't know what on earth to do. All I know is that if I don't see real snow after the packing, moving, stress, etc I will flip out. Dad found a bottom/fitted sheet & brought it over. He is really busy today, so I made myself switch around the mattress pad, put on a bottom sheet, & rearrange the batik bedspread so he didn't have to come back over. I have been so happy to just have a bed, tv, fridge, & Chai bunny I've lived without a sheet for a couple of months. Your priorities change when you focus on just getting through each day & night as best you can. Chai bunny loves the new & improved bed, jumping up & thumping so hard she bounced to announce to the bed that she had arrived. Of course my body is cursing me for not waiting for bed-making help, but as the parents are sick with cold front colds too, I just wanted to do something for myself. Mom sent me these roses from one of our many flower bushes last week, & today as they are dying I fell in love with the poppy-like look of the huge middles & had to take a picture. An almost dried Cabbage Rose, watching My Name Is Earl on Netflix, & Chai bunny visits set my mind at ease a bit as I try to breathe deep & fight through one more day. & fresh sheets are just the icing on my happy little cake ;)