Invisible Illness Week starts tomorrow!

Invisible illness week starts tomorrow (Monday, September 10, 2012) & so I will be blogging for that cause in a few hours! Join me!

 

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Time capsule-makeup day 1-#HAWMC/WEGO

We are to put together a time capsule about our specific health focuses, illnesses, stories to be opened in the year 2112. Of course I would provide news clippings of medicines that were used, treatments available, etc. All of the cold hard facts...but much more I would let my pictures, my old journals from when this illness really took hold, my personal story put a face on fibromyalgia. I would include my normal daily life. How I wrap into myself, iPod on & noise reducing headphones in-dad being my ears for listening for the nurse to call me back-what music I listened to in waiting rooms. The paintings I did when the pain got so bad I couldn't sleep. What movies & books I took lessons from in survival skills. Most important I would let my self portraits speak for themselves. They would be the face of what this does to a person, & I would include pics from before I got so sick as well, though I look mostly the same-but showing my life overseas, teaching, being a productive citizen of this country.

 

 

 

 

 

Day 29-6 sentence story-#HAWMC/WEGO

I came downstairs yesterday & took my usual place on the bed. I have my necessary pillows in front & behind me, to cradle the body that I've become. I look to my right & see all of the bedroom has been packed into boxes. Pictures, books, mementos, all scattered yet tightly packed into various boxes from other various moves. There is a blank space in the shelves left for a box. I lay down in front of the space, & took pictures of this body packed up though unready to move.

 

Another day, another self haircut

Some different ways to show my new self-haircut

 

 

Chai bunny & the Oscars

Yesterday morning before I went to sleep (we're nocturnal...it's called 'painsomnia') Chai bunny & I played in the spare room. I had been gearing up for the Oscars & per usual talked out loud to myself & her about my predictions, the fashion, etc. Keeping that in mind here are some of the scenarios Chai acted out ;)

 

Showing the back of her dress & face

 

Reaching back in her limo to get her clutch purse

 

The accidental nip slip ;)

 

And after a great night going to drink at the Vanity Fair party...;)

Grieving the small

When people are around that normally aren't, as a sick pro you notice the little things. My sister, husband, 2 teenage nieces, and adorable dog are leaving tomorrow after being here a few days. We've had a great time, & today they shopped, got mani/pedis, etc. Chai bunny got petted a good while by lovely Abby, & loved her...& didn't want me to take her back up. She thumped when I put her back upstairs, as she had traced out to the full attention of someone who is sweet & is able to sit on the floor with her, & not like me-who has to reach down from the bed. Emma got awesome new shoes & Abby the cutest dresses. Cameron & I talked iPad technology, & Sloan & I talked everything. They ate out, took dad to the movies, & did the normal things. I forget how much people really live until they're around. Of course I hold no bad thoughts about any of that, but seeing a dress I might have worn, or a movie I would see on the big screen, etc, a part of me grieves, & parts of me die. That's normal, & if I wasn't that way I'd be lying.

 

 

The fallout

 

My eyes realizing

Tonight I realized...I can't go on living here. I can't live without a dr in Arkansas. I can't keep my parents saddled with me. I can't hold them back. They've spent so much time house hunting, yet no time dr hunting as no one there will take my case. I can't keep going to sleep having nightmares only to wake up exhausted, depressed & worse off then when I went to bed. 

The yes when you realize there is no end. To pain, to a life, to a good living situation, to peace, to going on any longer. 

Watching the Quadrantids in bed

The awesome app Star Walk allowed me to watch the first meteor shower of 2012, while sick & in bed. The Quadrantids were fantastic & here are my pics of the shower I saw-which is nothing like it was...my camera sucks! ;)