Day 10-laughing out LOUD

So this is a LOL post-which I often forget means not just laughing but laughing out loud. I laugh a lot but I don't laugh out loud, loudly...all that often. When you're in pain all the freaking time even when I laugh I don't out loud all that often-from exhaustion & pain. The last time I really laughed was about a week & a half ago when my darling nephew & brother were over. We were outside & he was playing in the potted plants, & mom was showing him a (planted) flower, & he excitedly plucked out the flower with a little mound of dirt & roots with it-his little one year old face was so pleased, & mom & I lost it. He then started laughing as we were laughing & it just got funnier. He is so precious.

Chai bunny keeps me laughing-she is 99% personality & 1% sleep. No, she even has personality when sleeping. She wakes herself up thumping, then is alarmed & keeps thumping. Last night she moved one of the 2 bunny slippers (Sugar) to her food & later went over to eat-instead of moving Sugar she stood on the back foot part-leaned around & ate reaching her furry head around & sideways to reach the plate. Earlier we had gotten dad to help wash all my bedding & halfway through she jumped up on the bottom sheet & licked away. I finally had to just sit & wait for her to finish. She is THE joy in my life.

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Making the bed

I've been really sick lately. My body seems to have forgotten what proper seasons feel like, & for over a week my sinus/allergies/cold has switched into high gear. Crazy how my body forgets how to fight & adjust to something I lived with over half of my life...after living 5+ years without seasons, my compromised body doesn't know what on earth to do. All I know is that if I don't see real snow after the packing, moving, stress, etc I will flip out. Dad found a bottom/fitted sheet & brought it over. He is really busy today, so I made myself switch around the mattress pad, put on a bottom sheet, & rearrange the batik bedspread so he didn't have to come back over. I have been so happy to just have a bed, tv, fridge, & Chai bunny I've lived without a sheet for a couple of months. Your priorities change when you focus on just getting through each day & night as best you can. Chai bunny loves the new & improved bed, jumping up & thumping so hard she bounced to announce to the bed that she had arrived. Of course my body is cursing me for not waiting for bed-making help, but as the parents are sick with cold front colds too, I just wanted to do something for myself. Mom sent me these roses from one of our many flower bushes last week, & today as they are dying I fell in love with the poppy-like look of the huge middles & had to take a picture. An almost dried Cabbage Rose, watching My Name Is Earl on Netflix, & Chai bunny visits set my mind at ease a bit as I try to breathe deep & fight through one more day. & fresh sheets are just the icing on my happy little cake ;)

 

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Fevered dreams & little surprises

After a week of fever, swollen glands everywhere-one even hardening into a small marble under my arm-I woke up this morning after having feverish stress dreams panicked & stuck. After starts like that it's nice to find some little surprises & discoveries. My love of detective mysteries was delighted to find that netflix has 'Cracker' & 'Durham County' on streaming. The forst stars the fantastic Robbie Coltrain set in the UK, the second a strange, twisted, nightmarishly fantastic Canadian series that has moments of last year's 'American Horror Story' from FX running through it.

I stubbornly want to decorate my little house like I used to be able to, & a few days ago got out & shelved about 50 of my vinyl record collection, of course overdoing it in the process. A guy I used to work with gave me all of his record collection-& it's a really, really good one. I got it about 7-8 years ago but never really was able to see all of the records-& putting them up found loads of the Rolling Stones, the Beatles (with posters from them still perfect in the sleeve), the Who, Led Zepplin, & Neil Young-& the wonderful Johnny Cash. My friend & I used to play the side with I Walk the Line over & over again. Swoon.

I found a giant hedgehog, or a Czech 'Jezek' from a class of a dear Czech business I taught & loved. Chai bunny is in love & took to him, licking his furry nose immediately.

Dad brought in my grandmother's old mirror, & even though it isn't up & might not be for months-it's ok. Just having it around thrills me.

Mom found my bedspread/blanket I used in Indonesia, with all it's holes, faded stripes, & soft love clean & ready to have as an extra blanket on my bed.

Last but certainly not least, dad was mowing & found & brought this adorable turtle for me to see. It stuck his head out & started walking, not at all shy. Of course I'm now leaving little bits of veggies & leftover Chai bunny food outside for it, hoping he will become friendly & we can have a proper turtle/tortoise & the hare/nut head bunny fable happen in the apartment! Chai bunny had made a path around the sofa, under the bed & beside the boxes where she zooms around-last night I heard her skid off the carpet & onto the concrete floor as the sound of little paws & nails went across concrete...so she's practicing! All we need now is Mr. Turtle to return! Finally, & with fever I had to go numerous times & stand in my front door & let the hurricane rain soak my face. Having my own front door to open in private behind the house & fence of my family is great. I can stand in just a gown & no one can see my moon face happily letting rain run down my neck & back, for Chai bunny to investigate after.

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My amethyst house

As purple is the awareness color for fibromyalgia-& a longtime fav of mine, dad so lovingly painted 2 walls gothic amethyst, a grey-silver light purple & the other two a dark eggplant color called purple blanket. I love the names of paint colors! He had a toilet & sink put in-I'll use their shower in their house for safety, & we angled my bed against the two white shelves we're using (that mom lovingly donated to the cause) as a privacy barrier in the corner by the bathroom. As I spend so much time sitting/reclining in bed, I wanted it a major part of the plan so I can see the tv, face the love seat for company, etc. I had gotten the black wooden sleigh bed back in graduate school-it has 4 spiral silver knobs on each corner that I adore. Mom & dad gave me the gorgeous batik bedspread (that perfectly fits my queen bed) they got in Indonesia. It's perfect! Chai bunny is loving the huge space compared to the only place she has known-the old bedroom. Though the apt is basically an efficiency it is huge to her! It has a garage door that we are covering with my massive vinyl collection on shelves & an old school pull-down school map. I love that I have built-in shelves by the bed for keeping my cords/iPad/kindle, etc right there in reach. This is my 2nd night & I'm just thrilled! Thanks for all of your great wishes! Also a huge thanks to mom & dad, & my brother for finding the guy to put in my bathroom-he chose a great guy.

notice Chai under the table...

my magic bed

media center & my Indonesian triangle shelf

Chai bunny in bed

Watching the last 'Closer' from bed :)

Record players & shelves

 

Headboard details & gorgeous eggplant paint!

 

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Moving to apt!

An hour-ish Chai bunny & I are moving into our apt/house in the backyard of the parents house! We've been dying to get out there but we had to get fixed in the main house first...so pics to come! Here's the paint colors & my one of a kind Indonesian Batik bedspread from our time living over there...& finally I'll be back in my own black sleigh bed after 6 long years. Much to celebrate tonight!

 

Chai bunny adopted my childhood friend Marshmallow from my dear friend Laura!

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Feel good Friday-retraining the cogs

I've talked often about this upcoming move. Every fiber of my being says disaster yet I have no choice. Losing my doctors at this critical juncture is too much for me to stand. Yesterday, as my parents were packing, they found & brought down a gorgeous batik bedspread from our time in Indonesia. As the house they bought has a small workshop in the backyard-that will become my home. There's no bathroom or closets, but I've been trying to refocus on the fun I can have semi-on my own again. As I was offered that bedspread, I realized it's not necessarily what I would chose but rather after a few hours of it spread out on the bed in front of me, it started choosing me. Showing me a glimmer of hope of a few things. Nothing will be fixed physically, I am not to be a miracle healed, but I can spread out all my boxed up vinyl records, & life, & at least listen to my records at full blast as the pain washes over me.