Let it out

Today was an incredibly rough. Not just the usual pain & angst, but in trying to get my doctor here to send records to some unknown pain clinic 3 states away & failing, I realized there are a ton of pain doctors/clinics/but some do the meds but not the spinal shots, some do the shots but no meds...you get the point. I became incredibly frustrated. I can only see Internet info which is often very one sided. I realize as my friend described it I'm back on that house of cards. Before I even really started building the cards ripped, & my panicked mind along with it. I had to just give in to the panic attack, lay my head down & get in a fetal position modified to my screwed up body, & just let it out. For now.

 

 

Living underwater

The medications I take make my legs feel like jelly. The sense of impending doom makes me feel like I'm submerged under water, but yet I can't drown. There's no assuring oxygen deprived thoughts of 'it will all be over soon' yet the panic & fear grow stronger. That has been me, since the day I found out we were leaving, & now, the day I tell my beloved doctor, the panic rises into my throat. I can't breathe or think but no hand reaches into the water to pull me up.

 

Bed bunny

 After a rough pain night & restless sleep, an adorable house rabbit visit is always something wonderful to wake up to...

 And then come back concerned as I was laughing so hard I was choking! Aww, Chai bunny the body guard/nurse.