Friday, May 4, 2012

Superpower day-day 3 makeup

If I had a superpower right now it would definitely be the power to shield myself from things I don't need to hear or feel, like guilt for something I didn't cause-the kind of guilt that comes when you are dependent on caregivers & people for everything. They never mean to make me feel guilty but of course I do. Today dad went to pick up two medications-insurance never pays for one but they always pay or it anyway. I get downstairs tonight. I usually come down every night & sit on my parents bed & watch tv. When I first got here 5+ years ago I would watch tv with them, but my body's bizarre reaction to chairs & sofas got too uncomfortable, so they watch in the den while I'm in their room. It's my only real socializing of the day. I get my food, as well as Chai bunny's & then go back up a few hours later. Anyway, dad mentioned that they only had one prescription. Turns out the pharmacy just accidentally overlooked it, as most people can't pay for drugs not covered, if they have insurance at all. I called & talked to the pharmacy & as soon as I said my name the girl said 'oh yes, we missed putting that through'. I feel guilty he wasted a trip. I feel guilty on a summer weekend in a tourist town with bumper to tourist bumper traffic dad has to go back tomorrow. I feel guilty about the hundreds of medications I'm on, that I'm on anything at all. Being able to block out guilt for all of my sick friends would be my superpower.

 

 

2 comments:

  1. That would be a nice superpower. I feel guilty now because mine (when I write about them) seem so selfish! :p
    As always, I love the way you express what you feel with both words and picts. It's something I find amazing everyday and that makes me feel like finally sharing my picts with you. Only thing... I am still a right coward! :p
    Love you... We should never feel guilt... xxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are not a coward! You just started writing & look how much great attention you are getting! Thank you for your kind words...

    ReplyDelete