Day 2-makeup-#HAWMC/WEGO-quotations

We're given the task to find a positive or negatively feeling quote, & without missing a beat I think of one by the savagely honest Sylvia Plath I read a few weeks ago. 'I am living now in a kind of present hell, and god knows what ceremonies of life or love can patch the havoc wrought.'

As we are moving soon, & I'm leaving my drs who love me & really care about me-all I can do is worry, have panic attacks, & I keep forgetting to breathe. People well meaning keep saying I'll be fine-it will be fun-they'll come see me-which is great, but yet they don't understand the fear of them making plans, calling in sick to work, finding babysitters, etc just to get a call from me saying 'it's one of those really bad days' & canceling their trip. The guilt of always disappointing people-like during this past Thanksgiving dinner having to go upstairs, not being able to say goodbye to my two nephews (1 who I had just met as he was 6 months old) & beloved brother & darling sister-in-law. I know this may be the land of milk & honey-a great doctor looking for a person so puzzling he/she will be thrilled to take on my case. Of course being closer to loved ones will be great. I see all sides-I really do, but right now, this day, this week, as shingles continue to grow larger on my leg, the other leg swells so much all the blood vessels break sideways, & panic attacks are commonplace, the above quote resonates like an old friend's laugh.