Saturday, May 5, 2012

I write about my health because...#HAWMC/WEGO makeup blog

I write about my health because it became an outlet, using words & my self-documenting pictures to get out the things inside me. It became therapy. To pour out my twisted mind & soul & pain keeps things from becoming so bottled up-so crushed without oxygen that I'm ready to implode-from becoming a human bomb & taking out a city block. Figuratively of course...please don't put me on some government watchlist! When I became housebound my parents very lovingly became exhausted from my needing to grieve & get things out. The few therapists I tried said I was pretty much doing all I could do & when I showed my last one my pictures, he said that was the best thing I could do-to blog through my pictures & words. I love that I can educate as well-for invisible illness people usually don't look sick, & I wanted to show the times that we actually do. Very often I'll come downstairs from my bedroom, & as my parents glance up at me they say things like 'honey, you just look like you're about to die!' Lots of times it's that I'll wake up in the middle of a dream & still be in that sleeping/waking nightmare that takes awhile to get out of. Fibromyalgia patients don't get the delta wave sleep most of the rest of the world gets-you know the levels of sleep-REM, etc. Sleep labs have shown that we are missing our bodies delta wave sleep stage-that is the stage of sleep where among other things our bodies heal ourselves. This is science-not something I read about on some sketchy website. When I wake up from the middle of a dream & not slowly wake up normally it exhausts me. All of this is to say that my blog is for me selfishly as it's cheaper than therapy...for people who are coping with illnesses of any kind as well...& to educate. What started as just a picture a day turned into me writing as well, although there are times a picture says it all, or I just can't physically do anything else. Thanks #HAWMC (health advocates writers month challenge) for getting me to branch out this month. This is my next to last makeup post, & I have loved it!


1 comment:

  1. I learn so much about fibromyalgia through you. When I was diagnosed, I refused to learn anything about it because I didn't want to see myself as a sick person. I had a friend (had because she is too ill to socialize) whose life became more about existing than living after she was diagnosed. She had to quit school, and was heavily medicated. I didn't want that to be my future. It might be. It might not be. I don't know.