I just woke up, in a frenzied, panicked state. A year ago today, I had to put my beloved Zoe cat, age 15 & 1/2 years old, to sleep. It was the right thing & all that, but it is as fresh & cruel as it was a year ago. My longtime vet had the wisdom after giving her the shot that would end her & listening to make sure her heart stopped to gently wrap Zoe up in the towel I brought her in, to give me visual closure. To see her disappear into that mint green rolled up towel will forever be my last look at Zoe.
I read recently somewhere about time healing, so to give time time, but for me, in this state of the housebound everyday is another long, hard same day, I hate time. Time in this case has put distance from that event but has only broken my heart more. Yes I remember all the good times with Zoe, all the overseas close calls & her little passport that got left in the Prague airport, but right now all I feel & have felt this past year is pain.