Wednesday, June 27, 2012

All work makes Marnie a dead girl

So as this push for us suddenly moving then suddenly moving weeks sooner is happening, my body has given out. We had/have been saving my room for last, & it was a disaster. 5 years to go through of substitute items as my real ones were/are packed in a box, now 3 states away. Cards, little post-it's, the 'get well' to the 'I know you're dying inside' to throw away, dust off if keeping. 5 years of 3 beloved pets, 2 buried now in the ever fleeting back yard & 1 curious but sick wonder bunny & the fur & dust that comes with shedding, cat litter, etc. All of the huge undertaking that I had to give up from my mail art/pen pals days, letters never answered in physical form but in my mind & heart-when it became too much to write back I would mentally plan a reply with the art & handmade paper & envelopes I would send. Clothing that got put in another room, for me to go through soon & keep or give away. 95% will be given away, as they don't fit since this body is no longer mine & has very strict rules on what it can or will wear. Mom & dad's things stored in 'my' closet. After trying to help as much as I could while watching my dad fall, cut his face, sweat, vacuum, & sneeze while mom was having heart attacks downstairs worrying. After sleeping & rolling over in a thousand times in this loosely based sleep, I've woken now to a furious back, mad as I just got spinal shots & have basically cancelled them out. I did so little work but I could feel myself pushing too far as dad's face dripped with sweat & hopes & good intentions. My brother & family here on vacation are coming back tonight & I don't know if I'll be able to make the trip downstairs to see them. This was Chai bunny's reaction yesterday, framed in hiding.


1 comment:

  1. Moving is tough on the physically WELL on a good day. I can't imagine the toll it's taking on you. I'm thinking about you guys each day and hoping you can endure until you get to the new home. I pray it will be a haven for you, Marnie, filled with comfort.