Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The fear

Many of us live with fears. I grew up with fear twisting around my every muscle, thought, & mind as my brother going through cancer treatments, & later dying left me thinking fear was normal. I used to throw up nightly as my fears took over & my stomach felt it had to release this fear. I got better as I got older, but after getting sick, the thought of getting fired (they ended up letting me resign) or losing friends (count is at 3 significant friends) & losing myself in these illnesses caught right back up with me. I have horrific stress dreams, where I'm usually trying to find something that I never can find/finding my pets starving to death/being back at unusually cruel workplaces/& my family abandoning me. I wake up with this on my mind 29 out of 31 days on average a month. My fears now are moving, leaving my doctors, having to tell my doctors, not finding a good replacement (though I promised that there are no takers & we are supposed to move in 3-4 months), etc.



  1. I understand stress and fear all too well just like you, though for different reasons. I hope you can find a doctor in the new area you move to asap. If it were me I'd be looking already. Use Google Maps to find a nearby Pharmacy, call them and ask if they know of any doctors who are accepting new patients or who deal with Fibromyalgia patients (even better). I sincerely hope you are taking something for your anxiety. *gentle hug*

  2. I lived in that area for years & there was no one of the caliber of messed-up-ness like me...been searching & there's no one as of yet. I'm just totally lost, scared, & I don't care where I live that much except that my medical help is going to drop off like a boulder. ;( xxx