after my spinal shots at my neuro on tuesday, dad went out to drive the car around as we had parked at the end of the lot and i was not able to walk the length (which isn't long at all for most-but for me after shots-no way no how) back. i had been crying in the waiting room. the pain of the drive over and sitting in the chairs finally got to me-and after hearing Sarah Jarowz's cover of Radiohead's 'The Tourist', i lost it-i always find it interesting to see which song i lose it to if i do-last time it was Adele-Lovesong cover (the Cure). by the time i got back and was on the table waiting for him to come in, my left sciatic nerve and back where it stems from on the left side was so bad i wasn't crying-i was wailing like an animal. When Dr. T walked in he used the entire shot on just that area, instead of halfing it between two places. he then didn't even ask-just sent me straight in to get a pain shot. thank god above!
back to where i started-i was sitting on this ottoman/coffee table soft cushioned cube with a few christmas decorations that still were waiting to be put up-and i was hunched over in my pain. i noticed a gorgeous gold ornament had fallen off the tree in the back, by the corner window, and only from that hunched position could i see it-it was reflecting back the tree lights and was gorgeous. i picked up the cell camera and took a few shots, and for a small while was ok with the pain for the gorgeous ornament i identified with. apart from the tree and my real life, but able to reflect back something, somehow.