the official "you have this"

tomorrow-rather today, in a few hours, i will shower. showering and all the normal things like brushing my teeth, etc. are really hard for me. showering, even sitting down while soaping up is exhausting. amazing how humiliating things get that you can always take for granted-or did before. then, i go in to see my fantastic primary care dr. she is awesome, sweet, funny, and honestly would do anything she could for me. for a few months now i have suspected (by default of anything else) that i have Lymphedema in my left left. basically, my left leg is swelling and has been a lot more-getting a good bit fatter/bigger than my normal right leg. i just have had so much going on i haven't been able to get in to see her, but a few days ago-while dad was having surgery, i got-in a matter of hours-a sore. it looks like two snake fangs bit me-and as i have read/seen pics of this condition, these sores/infections can get bad to the point of very serious infection/skin removal type ick. anyway, as i will feel glad to hear that i'm not crazy and that it probably is this chronic illness, that it is ANOTHER DAMN CHRONIC ILLNESS, with no real treatments, no cure, and can get much, much, much worse is really depressing. i hadn't shown the parents the sore on my ankle until dad had a few days as his surgery was really intense, but when they saw it we called and i'm on first thing, 8 AM. as this pic shows (with an awesome new kind of framing!) the top left has a handful of pills, which i'm not looking forward to adding to my already jammed pack schedules of meds. more after the dr. xoxoxo, m