This is the state of my Chaosed Mind. The scary, the part that misfires & causes me to seize up & fall, the part that causes me to lose so much strength in my hands (why I have been tested for MS twice in 4 years), the memories, the fears, the stress dreams, the fog, the over active pain center, the hopes, the wants, the needs, the creative, the stings, the grasps, the missed, the smiles, the music, the poetry
I painted a picture recently that turned out horribly. Really just awful...it was a flower, possibly a Poppy that grew outside an apartment I lived in during my time in the Czech Republic. This morning I put the painting through the fantastic Percolator photo app, & it turned out really cool. It so reminded me of a chronic illness-fibromyalgia, interstitial cystitis, rheumatoid arthritis, chronic fatigue syndrome, etc. It is such an ugly disease, but when mixed with a person it looks normal. They don't look sick. Anyone with an illness like this-even emotional illnesses as well know this too well-the 'you don't look sick' thing. Anyway, this painting just brought that disguised normality home today.
