Stress dreams

I have stress dreams. Not nightmares-someone trying to kill me would be a pleasure given the crap I dream about. This is a representation of why I hate going to sleep. 

Determination & my only friend

I slept until 10:30 tonight...sad & alone. I had taken these pics of mom's cat Macy, determined to fit inside a small shoebox. At the bottom my only polar bear friend :(

Pros & cons

Sometimes I have a day so bad the only way I can deal with it & go on is to admit & get out the crappy parts, then find some good, even if it's something tiny, to focus on...& forget the pricks of the world. 

Let's get the cons out of the way:

My TMJ jaw has tighten up, making it hard to eat, drink, talk, & the worst-causing a migraine type headache. I've been up with pain for over 24 hours. Even sleeping for short spurts was interrupted with pain & blinding lights/pain.

I did a favor for a person, & even when using what I gave made backhanded compliments...or really insults. Just rude, rude, rude. Not worth my time or worry. I'm such a sensitive person & take too much crap.

Seeing pics of me & family over the holidays today was bittersweet. The steroids in my monthly spinal shots leaves me so puffy & marshmallow looking. Hate. That. Necessary. Part. 

& the pros...

A great writing app, Knowtilus Pro on sale from &9.99 to 99 cents!

Finally getting one good comment on a notoriously tough photo group. 

Getting one pic of me & my nephew that I don't hate of myself ;)

Watching the Quadrantids in bed

The awesome app Star Walk allowed me to watch the first meteor shower of 2012, while sick & in bed. The Quadrantids were fantastic & here are my pics of the shower I saw-which is nothing like it was...my camera sucks! ;)

Not pit, but pitiful

Today was one of those exhausting, sleep 13 hours but wake up feeling like my muscles ran a marathon. The pain kept me crying for at least an hour. Just the pain alone had me grieving for all i've lost these past 5 years. Yes I've gained, but on days like today, I don't care. All I know is pain, meds, & loss. 

Oh, my Vinyl Love

Many of you know my deep love of music, and vinyl. Yes-my iPod and music and noise isolating headphones save me in doctor offices-the hours I've spent there and the music that helped cocoon me into my own world couldn't have happened with me and dad dragging in a record player and sitting next to a plug to be able to listen to my music...though the mental picture gives me such glee! Anyway, I own three record players-one from the 40s/50s, one from the 70s, and one from the late 80s. I love the crackling warm fuzzy intimate sounds of the needle, the crackling promising a song will come on next, the sound like a warm fireplace. Sadly all my records and players are downstairs in the parents garage, but thanks to a new app, Vinyl Love, I can play music on my iPad that adds in the grainy warm crackle, and even plays the album in order-something I tend to miss. I'm so bad about skipping around and not listening to the album in the order the artists wanted-so with this app on sale and now on my happy little iPad, I listened to the full William Fitzsimmons album, in the order he wanted. : )

new year, new books, new headphones

I spent most of New Year's Eve watching a Big Bang Theory marathon, reading my new books that were free on Kindle or the 3 books I won from Mira Ink. As my headphones-the earbuds that are noise isolating...necessary for survival in my waiting room hours-broke last week, I used some Christmas money and got some new ones for under ten bucks. I wasn't expecting them to get here until after the new year, but a happy surprise hit when they arrived yesterday. They are fantastic-they really drown out the outside noise and amplify the music, movies, tv, etc. really well. 

I slept through the midnight mark-and woke up around 3:30 AM. I got up, read some, watched Netflix, and tried to forget that my last kiss was over 6 years ago. And it wasn't a good one. Ugh. All in all though with my last glass of champagne and new headphones and new books, it was pretty tops considering. Happy new year to all of you-wishing you laughter, peace, great snapshot moments, surprising little joys, and fun this new year. xxxooo