Making the bed

I've been really sick lately. My body seems to have forgotten what proper seasons feel like, & for over a week my sinus/allergies/cold has switched into high gear. Crazy how my body forgets how to fight & adjust to something I lived with over half of my life...after living 5+ years without seasons, my compromised body doesn't know what on earth to do. All I know is that if I don't see real snow after the packing, moving, stress, etc I will flip out. Dad found a bottom/fitted sheet & brought it over. He is really busy today, so I made myself switch around the mattress pad, put on a bottom sheet, & rearrange the batik bedspread so he didn't have to come back over. I have been so happy to just have a bed, tv, fridge, & Chai bunny I've lived without a sheet for a couple of months. Your priorities change when you focus on just getting through each day & night as best you can. Chai bunny loves the new & improved bed, jumping up & thumping so hard she bounced to announce to the bed that she had arrived. Of course my body is cursing me for not waiting for bed-making help, but as the parents are sick with cold front colds too, I just wanted to do something for myself. Mom sent me these roses from one of our many flower bushes last week, & today as they are dying I fell in love with the poppy-like look of the huge middles & had to take a picture. An almost dried Cabbage Rose, watching My Name Is Earl on Netflix, & Chai bunny visits set my mind at ease a bit as I try to breathe deep & fight through one more day. & fresh sheets are just the icing on my happy little cake ;)

 

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2 days & Zoe

It's 2 days until we drive away from this house. It never felt like home except for my parents being here, but nowhere else did either. The Czech Republic felt more like home than here-I at least met people & made fantastic friends, went out, etc.

 

Zoe cat died Feb. 1st, 2011 & I still haven't been in the backyard to see her. With the emotional state I'm in, how on earth-this solar system will I say goodbye?

 

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All work makes Marnie a dead girl

So as this push for us suddenly moving then suddenly moving weeks sooner is happening, my body has given out. We had/have been saving my room for last, & it was a disaster. 5 years to go through of substitute items as my real ones were/are packed in a box, now 3 states away. Cards, little post-it's, the 'get well' to the 'I know you're dying inside' to throw away, dust off if keeping. 5 years of 3 beloved pets, 2 buried now in the ever fleeting back yard & 1 curious but sick wonder bunny & the fur & dust that comes with shedding, cat litter, etc. All of the huge undertaking that I had to give up from my mail art/pen pals days, letters never answered in physical form but in my mind & heart-when it became too much to write back I would mentally plan a reply with the art & handmade paper & envelopes I would send. Clothing that got put in another room, for me to go through soon & keep or give away. 95% will be given away, as they don't fit since this body is no longer mine & has very strict rules on what it can or will wear. Mom & dad's things stored in 'my' closet. After trying to help as much as I could while watching my dad fall, cut his face, sweat, vacuum, & sneeze while mom was having heart attacks downstairs worrying. After sleeping & rolling over in a thousand times in this loosely based sleep, I've woken now to a furious back, mad as I just got spinal shots & have basically cancelled them out. I did so little work but I could feel myself pushing too far as dad's face dripped with sweat & hopes & good intentions. My brother & family here on vacation are coming back tonight & I don't know if I'll be able to make the trip downstairs to see them. This was Chai bunny's reaction yesterday, framed in hiding.

 

Fighting for peanuts

Being a vegetarian, I often will just know that I'm low on protein, so if I don't want to eat yet I'll just grab a handful of peanuts...dad's favorite snack. Today after dad came home I had my very own jar o'nuts with a big, red 'M' on the cap.


Mom has a way of marking food we share, which, while driving me nuts later makes me happy when I can bargain with dad if he has something I want : )

Since Zoe died, the parents cat Macy now loves to get right next to me when I'm downstairs in their room, watching TV. Never a substitute for Zoe of course, but having a cat curl up next to me & purr does give me a bittersweet smile. Her Macy is just a few hours ago, as close to my leg as she could get.



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Location:Downstairs